بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Making Nikah Simple: Embracing Islamic Values and Rejecting Extravagance

Speech By: Sheenam binte Akram 

WhatsApp channel link:

https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029ValDahO2UPBPUY6ytK1S

Today, when a wealthy family arranges the marriage of their daughter in our society, there is no issue. They give cars and other gadgets as dowry and show off to the world. But the problem lies with those who cannot afford it—the poor people. When they see these lavish weddings, they think, 'We also want to arrange a wedding like this for our daughters.' However, when they realize they don’t have enough money, it becomes clear that they cannot marry off their daughters in the same grand way. This creates internal resentment and shame within them. Isn't this something to ponder over?

Now, this attitude of setting high standards is a way of saying to the poor, 'If you have money, go ahead, otherwise, stay back.' But have these people ever thought about the pain a poor man feels? Doesn't he want to give his daughter a beautiful wedding too?

There are two reasons why weddings are made difficult:

1. The shame and embarrassment felt by the poor.

2. Being Extravagant in celebration like Mehndi, music, large processions, lavish dinners, and other extravagant celebrations

 Where is it written that these traditions must be followed? Mehndi, music, large processions, lavish dinners, and extravagant celebrations—where is it mentioned in the Quran or Hadith that such rituals are part of marriage? Then why have we made it so difficult?"

Our beloved Prophet (ﷺ) has clearly said that:

" the best marriage is one that is simplest and least burdensome"

Yet, we complicate weddings unnecessarily, ignoring the teachings of Islam.

The foundations of simplifying marriage rest on five principles:

1. Conducting Nikah in the mosque (as per Tirmidhi Hadith).

2. Not hosting any grand feasts on the occasion of Nikah. (The only permissible feast is the Walima, which the groom arranges, not the bride's family. This is because the father of the bride is already burdened, and Islam places no further responsibility on him.)

3. No bridal processions (baraat) should be organized as there is no mention of this custom in the Quran or Hadith.

4. Dowry is not part of Islam; it is a tradition of non-Muslims. In Islam, the dowry is the groom's responsibility, as he gives it to the bride. The Prophet (ﷺ) himself married his daughter Fatima رضي الله عنه in the simplest of ways, with no unnecessary expenses.

5. Make marriage easy and prevent sin. If marriage is easy, young people will marry early, reducing the chances of falling into sin."

"Make marriage a blessing, not a burden. When a poor father is approached with a marriage proposal for his daughter, he becomes anxious. He thinks, 'How will I manage everything? I’ll have to provide dowry, arrange food for guests, and plan a grand wedding.' Islam, however, teaches us that the father of the bride bears no such responsibility.

Think about it: a father spends his entire life raising his daughter, nurturing her, and giving her the best he can. When he marries her off, he fulfills his responsibility. What more can he do?

If you look at Christianity, their weddings happen in churches, led by their priests. They respect their own religious practices. But in our culture, we have adopted purely Polytheist's traditions such as the baraat, mehndi, and haldi ceremonies. Shouldn't we put an end to these practices that have no basis in Islam?

Let us remember the true teachings of Islam and follow the examples set by the Prophet ﷺ and his companions. By doing so, we can eliminate unnecessary burdens and restore simplicity to our weddings."

Islam's philosophy is that (on the girl's father) there is no burden of a dowry at the time of Nikah."

Nikah is an Islamic ritual which is performed according to the Quran and Hadith. In this, two non-mahram (unrelated) individuals become garments for each other for their entire life and share their lives together."

Conclusion 

Extravagant weddings and un-Islamic customs like dowries, baraat, and lavish ceremonies place unnecessary burdens on families, especially the poor. These practices, rooted in cultural traditions, create resentment and shame while straying from Islamic teachings. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ emphasized that the best marriage is simple and least burdensome, focusing on ease and dignity for all.

In Islam, the bride’s family bears no financial responsibility at marriage. Practices like hosting grand feasts or giving dowries contradict the simplicity the religion advocates. Instead, Nikah should be conducted modestly, with the Walima arranged by the groom as the only permissible celebration.

Simplifying marriages not only reduces stress but also prevents sin and fosters stronger communities. By rejecting societal pressures and embracing the true teachings of Islam, we can make marriage a blessing for all, restoring its spiritual and practical essence.

 اللهم مُصَرِّفَ الْقُلُوْبِ صَرِّفْ قُلُوْبَنَا عَلَى طَاعتِكَ

O Allah! Controller of the hearts, direct our hearts to Your obedience

Ameen. 

Comment down any question or dought you have regarding islam and its doctrines. Future blogs will inshallah include the solution to them ☺️

Fiqh & hadith related doughts will be explained by ulema of the specific fields inshallah