بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Table of contents:
1. What wisdom does it convey?
2. Does it aligns with islamic doctrines?
3. The similitude of Prophet ﷺ
3.3 Making things easy for others
3.4 being compassionate with the young and the elders
5. How to put it into practice?
Be tough on yourself, but easy on others. This profound statement is seen in a diary of philosopher-king Marcus Aurelius, Meditations.
But the question is, what benefit is this for our Ummah? And does it align with the Islamic teaching and life of Prophet ﷺ .Let's take a deeper look into the matter.
1. What wisdom does it convey?
Being tough on yourself doesn’t mean torturing yourself. Rather, it refers to metaphorically enduring the pain of discipline with a strong mindset. Marcus Aurelius, as a king, faced numerous challenges during his reign, ranging from child loss and plagues to rebellions. Yet, through his disciplined life, he found a way to overcome these obstacles. This perspective emphasizes that, no matter how difficult the situation, you must face it boldly. Be tough on yourself, and don’t seek escape or comfort by avoiding the challenges life presents.
The next statement, being kind with others, resembles the fact that despite being aggressively tough on himself, he was kind and lenient with his people, (although he persecuted the Christians for their beliefs, as per the historians).
2. Does it aligns with islamic doctrines?
There is a hadith in which
The Prophet ﷺ said,
"He is not a believer whose stomach is filled while his neighbor goes hungry."
(Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, 112)
Taking a deeper look at this, it’s clear that feeding one’s neighbor requires more than just compassion or kindness; it also demands the willingness to sacrifice personal desires for the sake of Allah, embodying self-discipline and humility.
Moreover, the actions of our beloved Prophet ﷺ perfectly reflected this teaching, as his life was a testament to selflessness and concern for others. Let’s explore this concept further.
3. The similitude of Prophet ﷺ
The noblest Man to ever exist, the seal of all Prophets.His each and every single action has immense lessons, but let's be specific for now:
3.1 In the matters of wealth
Prophet's ﷺ income was beyond our imagination. As per the Quran, the share in war bounty for the Prophet ﷺ was 20%. Keeping that in mind, he conquered whole Arabian Peninsula. If the bounty received, suppose, 1 billion gold coins, then he would have received 200 million gold coins for his own.
But the question is,
What did he do with that?
Did he bought a luxurious house for himself?
Spend on his comfort?
Absolutely not! Instead, he helped the poor, the needy, orphans, widows, his companions in need, relatives, neighbors, etc. To such an extreme that he barely filled up his belly. In fact, there were times when he stayed hungry for days on. The Hadith narrates an incident where he tied a stone to his belly due to extreme hunger, yet he was working and supporting his companions.
We were digging (the trench) on the day of Al-Khandaq ( i.e. Trench) and we came across a big solid rock. We went to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said, "Here is a rock appearing across the trench." He said, "I am coming down." Then he got up, and a stone was tied to his belly for we had not eaten anything for three days. So the Prophet (ﷺ) took the spade and struck the big solid rock and it became like sand. I said,
"O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! Allow me to go home." (When the Prophet (ﷺ) allowed me) I said to my wife, "I saw the Prophet (ﷺ) in a state that I cannot treat lightly. Have you got something for him to eat?" She replied, "I have barley and a she goat." So I slaughtered the she-kid and she ground the barley; then we put the meat in the earthenware cooking pot. Then I came to the Prophet (ﷺ) when the dough had become soft and fermented and (the meat in) the pot over the stone trivet had nearly been well-cooked, and said, "I have got a little food prepared, so get up O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ), you and one or two men along with you (for the food)." The Prophet (ﷺ) asked, "How much is that food?" I told him about it. He said, "It is abundant and good. Tell your wife not to remove the earthenware pot from the fire and not to take out any bread from the oven till I reach there." Then he said (to all his companions), "Get up." So the Muhajirn (i.e. Emigrants) and the Ansar got up. When I came to my wife, I said, "Allah's Mercy be upon you! The Prophet came along with the Muhajirin and the Ansar and those who were present with them." She said, "Did the Prophet (ﷺ) ask you (how much food you had)?" I replied, "Yes." Then the Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Enter and do not throng." The Prophet (ﷺ) started cutting the bread (into pieces) and put the cooked meat over it. He covered the earthenware pot and the oven whenever he took something out of them. He would give the food to his companions and take the meat out of the pot. He went on cutting the bread and scooping the meat (for his companions) till they all ate their fill, and even then, some food remained. Then the Prophet (ﷺ) said (to my wife), "Eat and present to others as the people are struck with hunger."
Sahih bukhari,4101
3.2 In the matters of prayer
The Prophet ﷺ, despite being pure and free from sin, used to pray with all he got.
As the Hadith mention,
The Prophet ﷺ used to offer night prayer till his feet become swollen. Somebody said to him "Allah has forgiven you your faults of the past and the ones to follow". On that he ﷺ said,"Shouldn't I be thankful to Allah?"
Sahih al bukhari,4836
3.3 Making things easy for others
Narrated Abu Huraira:
A bedouin urinated in the mosque, and the people rushed to beat him. Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) ordered them to leave him and pour a bucket or a tumbler (full) of water over the place where he has passed urine. The Prophet ﷺ then said, " You have been sent to make things easy (for the people) and you have not been sent to make things difficult for them."
Sahih bukhari,6128
3.4 being compassionate with the young and the elders
"He who doesn't show mercy to our young and honour our elder is not one of us"
Abu dawood,4943
He was extremely kind and merciful towards them. It is reported that during prayer, Al-Hassan and Al-Hussain رضي الله عنه would come and sit on him while he was in sujood. So for that duration, he didn't got up.
And not just these, but there are many other incidents that can be quoted from his virtuous life.
4. What are the benefits?
- Compassion Improves Mental Health
Studies indicate that practicing compassion toward others reduces stress and improves psychological well-being.
Source: Neff, K. (2003). Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself. Self and Identity.
- People who forgive others experience lower blood pressure and improved heart health.
Source: Lawler et al. (2003). A Change of Heart: Cardiovascular Correlates of Forgiveness in Response to Interpersonal Conflict. Journal of Behavioral Medicine.
- Being easy with others has been linked to stronger interpersonal bonds and societal harmony.
Source: Decety, J., & Jackson, P. L. (2004). The Functional Architecture of Human Empathy. Behavioral and Cognitive Neuroscience Reviews.
- Indiviuals who are tough on themselves (highly disciplined) tend to achieve greater academic and professional success.
Source: Duckworth, A. L., & Seligman, M. E. P. (2005). Self-Discipline Outdoes IQ in Predicting Academic Performance of Adolescents. Psychological Science.
- Acts of kindness have been shown to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression.
Source: Layous, K., et al. (2012). Kindness Counts: Prompting Prosocial Behavior in Preadolescents Boosts Peer Acceptance and Well-Being. PLOS ONE.
Also read: How to handle stress and anxiety?
- Reframing situations with empathy improves emotional resilience.
Source: Gross, J. J. (2002). Emotion Regulation: Affective, Cognitive, and Social Consequences. Psychophysiology.
- Helping Others Reduces Cortisol Levels:
Source: Raposa, E. B., et al. (2016). Prosocial Behavior Mitigates the Negative Effects of Stress in Everyday Life. Clinical Psychological Science.
- Helping others activates brain regions associated with happiness.
Source: Moll, J., et al. (2006). The Neural Basis of Human Altruism. Neuron.
5. How to put it into practice?
With this in mind,
- Challenge yourself regularly by embracing tough and demanding situations.
- Don’t fear them or shy away—face them head-on, with the courage of a lion.
- Restructure your routine to reflect this principle: eat a little less than usual, sleep slightly less, but always ensure your health remains unaffected. (If you have a medical condition or suspect the onset of one, consult a professional doctor, as your body has a right over you.)
At the same time,
- Practice kindness and compassion.
- Forgive others
- Exchange gifts with your family, relatives, and neighbors,
- Foster relationships that reflect empathy and generosity.
6. Conclusion
The statement "Be tough on yourself but easy on others" encapsulates profound wisdom that aligns with both philosophical insights and Islamic teachings. Through the example of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, we see a life of self-discipline, compassion, and selflessness. He endured hunger, prayed fervently, made things easy for others, and showed unmatched kindness. Scientific studies further highlight the benefits of such behavior, including improved mental health, stronger relationships, and resilience. By challenging ourselves with discipline while extending kindness to others, we can cultivate a balanced, fulfilling life that mirrors the Prophetic model and benefits both ourselves and those around us.
اللهم مُصَرِّفَ الْقُلُوْبِ صَرِّفْ قُلُوْبَنَا عَلَى طَاعتِكَ
O Allah! Controller of the hearts, direct our hearts to Your obedience
Ameen.
Comment down any question or dought you have regarding islam and its doctrines. Future blogs will inshallah include the solution to them ☺️
Fiqh & hadith related doughts will be explained by ulema of the specific fields inshallah
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